You Don't Win Friends With Salad

Yesterday we went to an all-you-can-eat Chinese-Japanese weekend special seafood buffet. I saw some chump putting a big scoop of white rice on his plate. Are you kidding me, dude? After tax and tip you are paying upwards of $13 for this meal. Please. Get out of the way so I can access the crab legs with both arms. You disgust me.

I was going to write a post about "getting your money's worth" and "stretching a buck" but I realized all I wanted to talk about was all-you-can-eat buffets. Primarily, I need to share this:

The 2010 All-Inclusive All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Guide

This person, "Heesa Phadie," embodies the Cheapion ethos. Heesa Phadie recognizes the importance of strategy. Heesa Phadie is not responsible if you develop type 2 diabetes.

The article mentions that "many establishments will raise their level of air conditioning to make diners uncomfortable, making them want to leave earlier." The buffet yesterday employed this technique, but luckily I was equipped with many warming layers. Heesa Phadie echoes my own sentiment with gusto: "There is never a need to eat steamed rice (shrimp fried rice in small amounts is acceptable), dinner rolls or the like, this is completely unacceptable."

What I like about this reputable guide is that it's not just about money. It's about conniving. Just because you are paying money, doesn't mean you're the one getting huckstered.